I woke up full of excitement and zest. I wonder if that is from last night’s heart meditation. This morning I was preparing some experimental abstract textures for the demo I will be giving on Friday for Cork’s Culture Night. That worked out well. It’s funny how making work in that way is so different to making my own works for public exhibition. It’s so much more relaxing and enjoyable.
I realised by the afternoon how I am now starting to feel the pressure of time and the limitations of what materials I have here. I wonder what the hell I was thinking of when I decided it was a good idea to put on a show at the end of my month here. It’s quite a scary thought really. Sojourn(al) is to be about visual explorations, as if to show to reveal to people the open pages of a sketch book. That’s hard, since I’ve never felt at ease when people want to see my sketch books. Maybe this is the most challenging thing I’ve done so far, I can’t seem to let go of my perfectionist ways. How easy it is in comparison, to put up the works of finely perfected paintings where I’ve had months – or years even – to think them through. I wonder how Éilis is getting on at Road Studios. Sometimes I see her husband Sam pop in and I feel closer to her just hearing a few little things about how she is getting on. We have had very little contact since she left here. That’s kind of exciting in a way that I can’t explain, it really is quite an odd experience. I know when we see each other to put up the show I won’t feel so alone in the whole project.
I wonder what it would be like to not be an artist/ what would I have done with my life? That’s such a weird thought to which I have absolutely no answer to.
I probs need a day off. My head is mashed with art.